


Don't Need a Prince

by darlingkingofhell



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Oblivious Thorin, aka my favorite trope ever, idk if there will be smut yet, nerd Thorin, pastel goth Bilbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-17 23:24:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15472428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingkingofhell/pseuds/darlingkingofhell
Summary: Thorin and Bilbo share a morning class during Thorin's first semester at a new college. Unbeknownst to BIlbo, their professor is Bilbo's monster of an ex. Not wanting to appear pathetic, Bilbo decides to pretend Thorin is his boyfriend. Incidentally, they both like each other (and neither are willing to admit it). Will they realize their mutual attraction or will this end in disaster? (trope as old as time, I know but I'm a sucker for it.)





	1. Chapter One: First day of class

**Author's Note:**

> My second fic ever and not beta'd, please feel free to point out typos!

**Chapter One: first day of class (THORIN POV)**

7:30 AM

 

Thorin opened the flyer-covered door to his philosophy of excellence class. The fluorescent light cast a bland color on the monochromatic room. He was one of the first students to arrive-the only others being a pretty girl with dark skin and dreads to the left of the room and a boy who looked way too young to be in college sitting in the first row as close to the professor’s podium as possible. Thorin had tried to not be ridiculously early but, judging by the lack of people, he guessed he had still left far earlier than necessary. He had always had the tendency to arrive places early, but he had hoped college would give him a chance to practice more nonchalance. It must just be in his blood, he thought, as he plunked down into a beige seat in the middle of the room, near the end of the row. He wondered what this class would be about as he started to gather and organize his school materials.

 

 _Philosophy of excellence?..sounds really pretentious,_  He thought.

 

 There hadn’t been much of a class description when he had enrolled. He was just told it would fulfil some degree component and that was enough for him. He watched as students began to trickle in. He liked to guess at their likes and dislikes by studying their clothes and backpack accessories. It was rarely accurate, but it was more fun than staring blankly at his empty list of notifications, pretending people wanted to talk to him. Since he had moved away from home, he didn’t yet have any friends in the area. He was hoping to change that the first few days of class. Some people around him had started tentative conversations, asking about majors, likes, dislikes, and other tidbits. Thorin caught bits of their conversations and he watched his pencil make loops along the margins of his notebook paper. Even though the class was filling up, his half of the row was still empty. He knew that he had a tendency to ward people of with his intimidating appearance. If anyone just talked with him they almost immediately realized how much of an awkward nerd he was. He was hoping to break out of his shell a little bit and be a more approachable person.

 

 At 7:58, a man walked in wearing a well-fitted blazer and dark pants. He was very attractive. He has tall and thin with long silvery-blond hair pulled back by braids on either side of his face. His eyes were an icy blue, framed by dark eyebrows that contrasted with the rest of his pale coloring. He stood poised in front of the class computer as he started up the projector and pulled up the syllabus. The sparse conversations died down as the man introduced himself.

 

“Good morning class. I am your professor, Dr. Thranduil. You may refer to me as Dr. Thran, if that is easier for you,” He began in a clipped voice, “I want to set some ground rules for my class. There will be no cellphone usage while I am lecturing. Anyone caught in violation of this is welcomed to leave. I do not offer extra credit, it is your responsibility to get the grade you want in this class. You will turn in all assignments on time or they will be deducted a whole letter grade for each day they are late. Any questions?”

 

Scattered murmuring started but no one objected. Thorin thought some of the rules seemed fair, if a bit excessive.

 

Dr. Thran went on to explain how the class was about a devotion to excellence and, as such, they would be required to learn various skills throughout the semester. As he was talking about the grading policies, the door edged open and a very out of breath boy tried to sneak in. As he was halfway to the nearest open seat, which happened to be the one right next to Thorin, Dr. Thran spoke up.

 

“Ah thank you for reminding me Mr…?” He began

 

“Baggins, Thra–sir. My name is Bilbo Baggins.” The boy said, still catching his breath.

 

“Mr. Baggins, I do not have patience for tardiness. Yes, this class is early, but I did not make you sign up for it,” Thranduil said, with a smirk on his face. “For anyone else thinking of being late to my class, you will be counted as absent if you have not appeared by 8 A.M. sharp. Yes, Mr. Baggins, that counts for you today. Please, take a seat so I may continue.”

 

Thorin noticed that the boy-Bilbo’s face became even redder as he sat down next to Thorin. Everyone in the room was quiet, not quite sure how to react. Dr. Thran’s smooth voice cut through the silence.

 

“Now, as I was saying before our little...interruption, a great deal of your grade will depend on your ability to work with others as you will have one required skill that you will learn with a partner. I suggest you take a moment to make a friend now. Choose wisely.” He said, his eyes on Bilbo.

 

Thorin turned to Bilbo who was picking at his pale pink nail polish. Thorin took a moment to study him. He was boyishly cute. He had curly hair that was shaved in places and dyed a pale greenish blue. He had a hoop in the middle of his nose, more piercings in his ears than Thorin had ever seen-including a hole in each lobe of his ear that was stretched open with little smiley faces. He wore dark brown eyeliner that was smudged around his piercingly blue eyes, which were now glaring at Thorin.

 

“Can I help you, tough guy?” He asked in a rough voice that hinted at suppressed tears. Now that Thorin thought of it, his eyes did look red.

 

“Uh-I just thought you’d, y’know, uh maybe want to be my partner? Y’know, since we’re supposed to pair up?” Thorin said, unsure what the boy would say.

 

Bilbo blinked. Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. I’m Bilbo in case you didn’t hear earlier.” He said, holding out his hand. Thorin took it and shook his hand mumbling “Thorin Oakenshield, at your service,” blushing as he made eye contact. Thorin’s calloused hand dwarfed Bilbo’s small soft hand. The handshake lasted just a moment too long and both of them looked away awkwardly.

 

“So,” Bilbo began, “what made you sign up for this class?”

 

“I needed a humanity component. Apparently even engineers need to be a little humane.” Thorin said, trying to lighten the sudden awkwardness. “You?”

 

“I’m a counselling major so they want us to take more “soft-science” classes. It’s supposed to make us more well-rounded, I guess. This is my second semester here. You?”

 

“First,” Thorin said, trying to look more confident than he was. “I moved here from my home town. It’s about three hours away. You?”

 

“I’m originally from up north, so I don’t get to go home much. It’s about three days by car.”

 

They sat in awkward silence for a moment.

 

“Do you know him?” Thorin asked, nodding toward the professor.

 

“Why would you think that?” Bilbo asked, looking Thorin in the eye warily.

 

“He just really seemed to have it out for you.” Thorin replied, trying to keep his voice light.

 

“Oh, yeah. Um, we know each other. It’s a bit of a long story. He doesn’t like me very much.” Bilbo replied.

 

Around them the room was getting louder with various conversations of people introducing themselves. Thorin looked back to his hands, absent mindedly doodling on his page. He glanced up to see Bilbo watching out of the corner of his eye. Thorin tilted his notebook and moved slightly in his chair to give Bilbo a better view. He kept adding details, pretending not to notice Bilbo’s gaze. The doodle turned into a winding serpentine dragon with its jaws wide, billowing fire flowing out of its mouth. It’s scales glinted like plated steel and smoke rose from behind it, framing it.

 

“That’s really good,” Bilbo said hesitantly. “Why aren’t you an art major?”

 

“I don’t want to turn something I love into something I hate.” Thorin said, eyes still on his dragon.

 

“Well, you’re really talented. I wish I knew how to draw.” Bilbo said

 

“Doesn’t it take some drawing skill to do all that?” Thorin said, gesturing at Bilbo’s eyes.

Bilbo laughed. “Yeah, about as much skill as a toddler. You should see me when I try to do winged eyeliner. Now _that_ takes skill.”

 

            “I’m sure it looks very good on you.” Thorin said gruffly, looking into Bilbo’s eyes, which were made brighter by the dark eyeliner around them. He glanced away, realizing how his words sounded.

 

Thorin could feel his ears growing hot.

 

 _Great, now he knows you think he’s cute and he’s going to be grossed out and the only person you’ve managed to talk to so far is going to find someone else to be partners with._ Thorin thought to himself.

 

When he glanced back up, Bilbo gave him a small smile. “Thanks,” he said.

 

“Now class, since you’ve had a few minutes to find a partner, I will assume you have a plan for the semester. Please try to work any problems out amongst yourself before coming to me. That is all for today.” Dr. Thran said, “Mr. Baggins, please stay after class. I need to have a few words with you.”

 

When he had finished, students began filing out. They seemed happy to stick within their pairs, chatting as they went. Some of them gave passing glances to Bilbo as they went. Bilbo himself looked paler than he had a minute ago. He looked as though there was a bitter taste in his mouth. Thorin felt bad and looked for a way to cheer him up but found none. Thorin and Bilbo both began to pack up their things. Thorin paused as he began to get up.

 

“Could I get your number? Uh-you know since we’re partners. For the project?” Thorin asked awkwardly.

 

“oh, yeah, sure. Here.” Bilbo said, a bit distracted as he handed Thorin his phone with a new contact page pulled up. While Bilbo finished packing away his things, Thorin input his info, adding a photo of himself crossing his eyes, hoping it would cheer Bilbo up–if he ever bothered to look at it.

 

“Okay, well. I’ll see you later?” Thorin said, wishing he could bring Bilbo’s smile back.

 

“Yeah, later.” Bilbo replied.

 

As Thorin reached the door, Bilbo stopped him calling out “uh, yeah sweetheart, just text me later!” Bewildered, Thorin turned to see who Bilbo was talking to only to find him looking directly into his eyes, a pleading look in his eyes with a smile plastered on his face.

 

Not knowing why, Thorin responded, “Of course, dear.” Quickly exiting.

 

With the door closing behind him, Thorin tried to sort out what had just happened. Did Bilbo like him? Why was he acting so oddly? Did this have anything to do with Dr. Thran? As he walked to his apartment, his head was full of various possibilities.

 

Nothing to do but wait and see where this went.


	2. Chapter Two: A Talking To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and Thranduil have a chat. Later Bilbo explains whats up to Thorin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Beta'd, please let me know if there are typos!

**Chapter Two: A talking to (BILBO POV)**

 

Thorin disappeared as the door closed. Bilbo let out a breath, shoulders sagging. He took a moment to prepare himself for the upcoming conversation before shouldering his backpack and turning to face Thranduil, who was pretending to not have noticed what had just happened.

 

Bilbo approached Dr. Thran, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for Dr. Thran to take notice of him. Dr. Thran shut down the computer, gathered some notes, and organized them unnecessarily carefully. Finally, he turned to Bilbo, blue eyes hooded and expression set in a sneer.

 

“So, Mr. Baggins, I see you have decided to take my class. Why is that?” Thranduil asked, coldly.

 

“Well–uh, my boyfriend and I wanted to have a class together. The big burly guy. I didn’t know you were teaching this. The listing said Tauriel was teaching this class. If I had known I wouldn’t have bothered.” Bilbo replied.

 

“Your _boyfriend_ hmm? Is that why he looked dumbfounded at being called sweetheart? Or is it that he cannot believe he has actually agreed to date such an immature, stupid child?” Thranduil said, his words like ice, “tell me, why did you really take this class? Were you hoping to make me jealous? Is this a pathetic attempt at getting me back? You always were a child.” As he said this, Thranduil stepped closer to Bilbo, backing him into the podium. Bilbo held the straps of his backpack protectively in front of himself.

 

“N-no.” Bilbo said, voice cracking weakly, “I told you when _I_ broke up with you, I never wanted to see you again. You’re supposed to have gotten that job at Mirkwood by now anyway. What ever happened to that? Did they see what a sociopath you really are? I’m taking this class because I need it for my degree and I’m not going to let an insecure bully like you scare me away.” Bilbo spat, trying to sound surer of himself than he was.

 

Thranduil looked slightly stunned by his sudden defiance. Using it as his opening for escape, Bilbo elbowed past Thranduil to the door. He resisted the urge to say more as he shouldered open the door and made his way to his last class.

 

**** 

Opening the door to his apartment, Bilbo was greeted by his cat, Took.

 

“Hey, love.” Bilbo said as he scooped up the tabby into his arms.

 

He went to the kitchen to fix his second breakfast of the day. Living on a college budget didn’t mesh well with the several meals a day diet he had been used to but baking things from scratch helped save some money. He pulled out a few biscuits and stuck them in the toaster oven. As he waited, he scrolled through his phone. He had a few texts from his friends Fili and Kili, asking if he wanted to go for a drink later. He had another from Thorin asking him if he was alright.

 

“What should I say, Took? Hmm?” Bilbo asked, looking into his cats wide eyes. Took meowed. “yes, I suppose you’re right. He does deserve an explanation since I’ve wrangled him into this mess.” Bilbo sighed and opened the text from Thorin.

 

B: Hey, I’m okay.. I’m sorry about earlier. I want to explain what happened in person. Is there a good time to meet up?

 

T: Sure. No need to apologize. I’m free tonight?

 

B: Tonight works :) do you want to meet at my place? There are some things I’d rather not say in public

 

 

B: If not I understand. I’m practically a stranger. At least you know you could probably take me in a fight..

 

T: No, that’s alright. What time?

 

B: does 6 work?

 

T: sure, I’ll see you then. Do I need to bring anything?

 

B: just yourself, thank you

 

T: see you tonight

 

B: It’s a date

 

B: not a date date.

 

B: not that you wanted it to be a date

 

B: I’ll see you tonight

 

Bilbo turned off his phone after also adding his address to that miserable thread. He banged his head on the cabinet door. A moment later his toaster oven dinged.

 _Great. He’s probably not even going to show up now. Thranduil will know I was lying, I’ll have to drop the class and possibly delay my graduation. Fuck._ Bilbo thought.

 

Bilbo put his biscuits on a napkin and plopped onto his sofa. He pulled up Netflix and started scrolling through the comedies as Took tried to steal bits of biscuit. He eventually settled on rewatching Great British Bake Off for the hundredth time.

 

Bilbo pulled a blanket onto himself and took, settling in for a day of wallowing in self-pity. Around one he got up to make lunch. Afterwards he pulled out a few of his textbooks. He was halfway through his reading, flipping through glossy pages, when he started to nod off. Setting his book aside, Bilbo curled up under his blanket with took settling on his feet.

 

His dreamed began hazily. He was standing in a dim, shadowy room. There seemed to be a spotlight on him coming from nowhere. As he looked around, the shadows began to move. Every time he turned, he just barely caught sight of something approaching. Bilbo made himself dizzy trying to face the shadowy figure. He finally had to stop and regain his balance. The spotlight closed in, allowing the shadows to creep closer. Or were the shadows overpowering the light? He suddenly felt the room drop ten degrees. Shivering, he hunched in on himself, trying to remember how he had gotten here. He had been going to class, right? Class..what was it about class he had to be scared of?–suddenly a hand gripped his shoulder, long, pale fingers digging in. _well, what do we have here. Lost, are we?_ A voice like cold steel said seemingly from inside his head. He tried to shake of the hand, but its grip was firm. An arm slinked around his middle from behind, pinning him to a solid chest. He tried to squirm free, desperately. The voice began to chuckle coolly. He was being pulled into the shadows, darkness pulling at his clothes and making his mind drowsy. Why was he so worried about escaping? He could just let the fog take over completely. That seemed much easier than worrying about escape. _HEY!_ A low voice cut through the fog that was growing in Bilbo’s mind. _Get off of him, creep!_ The voice was closer now. Big, calloused hands pulled at the limbs restraining Bilbo. Blinking, Bilbo could see now that the figure before him was big and solidly built. His arms were the width of Bilbo’s thighs and though his unruly black hair shadowed his face, the figure looked familiar. Having pulled Bilbo free, the muscular arms held Bilbo close to his warm, broad chest. _You’re safe now. It’s okay, he can’t get you._ The voice was soothing. He began to stroke Bilbo’s hair. After a few soft strokes he began poking Bilbo harder, pushing his nose uncomfortably hard. Why was he pushing so hard?

 

Bilbo woke, eyes blurrily taking in Took’s golden eyes above him, paw raised to prod his face once more.

 

“What is it, huh? You have food, let me nap.” Bilbo mumbled grumpily.

 

A second later, Bilbo heard the knocking at the door and realized why Took must have woken him up. Rushing to get up, Bilbo almost fell onto the floor, tangled in blankets. Freeing himself from the warm nest, Bilbo rushed to the door, opening it just as Thorin was turning away.

 

“Hi! Sorry, I was napping. Took woke me up.” Bilbo said in a rush.

 

“Uhm, no worries. I just about thought I had the address wrong. So, can I come in? Or were you hoping to talk like this?” Thorin asked, smirking a bit at the end.

 

“Oh! Goodness, yes, come on in. sorry, my mother would have my head if she saw what a bad host I had become!” Bilbo said, stepping aside.

 

As Thorin entered, Bilbo tried to straighten himself up, wiping at his eyes to put the smudges back in their proper place and purposefully disheveling his hair. He glanced down at the pajama pants he had put on, ears going hot. They were his Care Bear pajamas he wore on bad days. His mom had gotten them for him as a joke, but he secretly loved them. Glancing up at Thorin, he noticed him looking at the photos he had hung up. He took his chance to really take in Thorin. He was tall and broad with clearly defined muscles, but he wasn’t too lean. His hair was pulled back into a sloppy braid with beads running through it. His jaw has a dark layer of stubble on it that made him look much older than he must be. He turned from the pictures to look at Bilbo.

 

“So,” He began “what did you want to talk about? I mean I’m assuming it’s about what happened earlier..”

 

“Yeah. Um… I’m not quite sure where to start with that. I guess I should apologize first. So, sorry.” Bilbo said, looking down at his hands. “I-Thranduil and I have a history. We used to date. He..he was really cruel but he was my advisor at the time so I couldn’t see a way away from him. I ended up switching majors and leaving him a note. He tried to ruin my grades but thankfully by that point the semester was over. I didn’t tell anyone because he knows a lot of personal information about me. Unfortunately, one thing he knows is that I need this class to graduate. I don’t know what strings he had to pull to replace the previous professor but I know he’ll keep doing it as many times as he has to.” Bilbo paused to take a breath “I don’t know what I was hoping would happen if I pretended we were dating. Maybe that he would leave me alone? I don’t know. All I know is he won’t outright fail me if he knows someone else witnesses it. He can’t. I’m so sorry for involving you. You don’t have to pretend to date me, it was a stupid decision I made in the moment without even asking you. I mean for all I know you already have a girlfriend..” Bilbo finished weakly, not meeting Thorin’s eye.

 

“Okay.” Thorin said.

 

“Okay? Okay what?” Bilbo asked, not wanting to let hope creep into his voice.

 

“Okay, I’ll be your pretend boyfriend. How hard can it be?” Thorin said, trying to seem more cheerful than he was. He had secretly hoped that Bilbo might want to be his _actual_ boyfriend, but he would take what he could get. “When do you want to start?” He asked.

 

“Well, now I suppose. But we should go on dates and stuff, you know, to really get in character. And we should probably practice being a couple. You know, holding hands, knowing things about each other… kissing.” Bilbo hesitated saying that last one, hoping it wouldn’t be too much and scare Thorin off.

 

“Right, so we should probably start as soon as possible.” Thorin said, trying to remain cool.

 

“Yeah! yeah. How about now?”


	3. Chapter Three: Getting comfortble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd

**Chapter Three: Getting comfortable (Bilbo POV)**

Thorin nodded dumbly, not able to really vocalize anything. Clearing his throat, he got out a dry “uh-huh,” still nodding.

 

Bilbo was still looking down at his chipped nails so Thorin edged closer. This close, Thorin could smell the mix of herbs that clung to Bilbo’s skin–rosemary, mint, and lemongrass. Just as Thorin moved to tilt Bilbo’s chin up, Bilbo suddenly fell towards him. Took had wrapped himself around his legs! Without thinking, Thorin wrapped one hand around Bilbo’s waist and his other on the back of Bilbo’s neck. Even with his efforts, Bilbo still ended up falling against Thorin, both hands trapped on the tall man’s broad chest. Thorin gazed down at Bilbo as he looked up with startled blue eyes. Thorin’s gaze moved down to Bilbo’s mouth, which was still partially open. Bilbo’s face was flushed, probably from the fright of almost falling. They both stood there for a moment, catching their breath. Bilbo was the first to move, slowly taking his hands off of Thorin’s chest.

 

“Thanks,” Bilbo said with a small smile, still inches from Thorin.

 

“Anytime,” Thorin said, blushing a dark red.

 

“So, practice?” Bilbo said a bit hesitantly.

 

“Practice,” Thorin agreed, “um, should we sit down?” He added, gesturing to the couch.

 

Bilbo nodded and walked barefoot to sit on one section of the couch with Thorin awkwardly settling on the other, back straight with his hands on his thighs.

 

“Okay, look, if we’re going to make this work we can’t be all awkward like this.” Bilbo said gesturing vaguely to the air between them.

 

Thorin nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed, “I-I’ve just never done much dating before,” He started, “I don’t really know what I’m doing.” Thorin said. He had slumped a bit, hands clasped together in his lap.

 

Bilbo sat up on his knees, moving to sit closer to Thorin, “Hey, hey, it’s alright. Okay? We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. How about we just start small, hm? Maybe watching a movie and cuddling a little? Would that be alright?” Bilbo said, trying to sound reassuring.

 

Thorin looked up at Bilbo relief evident in his eyes. “yeah, I’d like that.” Thorin said with a small smile.

 

Bilbo nodded like that settled it. He directed Thorin to take his shoes off and get comfortable while he grabbed glasses of water and flicked off the living room lights. When he returned to the living room, Thorin was laid out along the back of the couch. The blanket Bilbo had hibernated under earlier was spread across the middle of his body. While it covered Bilbo, it looked like little more than a towel on Thorin. Bilbo’s ears went pink thinking about Thorin in just a towel... _Right, movies_. Bilbo thought. _We’re watching movies. Just watching movies._ Bilbo set the water down and turned to Thorin who looked up from behind crooked glasses. From this angle he resembled a scruffy puppy.

 

“Where am I supposed to fit? On the floor?” Bilbo asked with a smirk, eyebrow cocked.

 

Thorin didn’t say anything but pat the sliver of couch left in front of him. Bilbo rolled his eyes with a good-natured grin and grabbed the remote before settling into the small space Thorin had left. They settled on _Hercules_ since Thorin had never seen it and Bilbo declared it a classic. Bilbo had to lean out to set the remote back on the table. Just as the remote touched the tabletop, Bilbo felt his center of gravity lurch as he started to fall from the narrow ledge of couch. Quick as before, Thorin’s arm shot out to wrap around Bilbo, pulling him back to safety.

 

“Thanks, again.” Bilbo said, craning his neck to look to Thorin, whose face was _much_ closer than Bilbo had estimated. He could feel the scruff of Thorin’s beard against his ear as he muttered something that sounded like “no problem.” Bilbo turned back to the TV as the movie started.

 

 _In for a penny, in for a pound_. Bilbo thought as he settled back into Thorin’s chest, pulling his muscular arm firmly around his waist. Bilbo could feel the heavy rhythm of Thorin’s breathing and the weight of his arm across his waist. Bilbo noticed that Thorin had a soft smell of graphite and aged paper. It was a very soothing smell. Thorin’s arm retreated and Bilbo felt cold where his arm has been. The feeling lasted just a moment before Thorin replaced his arm after covering Bilbo with the warm blanket. Bilbo sunk deeper into the cocoon of warmth surrounding him. He was so relaxed with Thorin’s weight covering him, the soft smelts of art materials, and the gentle lull of his breathing. Barely aware of it, Bilbo sunk into sleep.

 

_His dreams were warm and fuzzy. Bilbo couldn’t see much but he felt serene and grounded. Around him the air was thick and comfortingly warm, like blankets fresh out of the dryer. It smelled like he was in a used bookstore, aged pages sitting around waiting to be read. And there was a nice heaviness to Bilbo’s bones. It felt like lying in bed on a warm Saturday morning, knowing there’s time to lay around. He felt like there was something he was forgetting but he just couldn’t remember what. It kept bugging him, getting more and more persistent. Bilbo didn’t like it. He turned back into the solid warmth that let him forget. It wouldn’t bother him there, no sir. As the warmth he was nestled in became more solid, he started floating up to the surface. Muddy sounds started filtering into his awareness. His body became more solid and he felt something tangible under his hands._

 

The sounds were now happy voices cheerily talking about blowing something up. Bilbo squinched up his nose, acclimating to waking up. He didn’t fully accept wakefulness, and clung to the last bits of sleep, keeping his eyes closed. He burrowed back into the warmth now in front of him, nose pressed against something that smelled _really_ good. Just then Bilbo noticed a gentle pressure against his back. Thorin was tracing patterns on his skin. Thorin! _Crap,_ Bilbo thought, _that’s what I’m pressed up against?? Okay, no problems here. Friends do this all the time right? Right. Now how do I wake up?_ As Bilbo was internally freaking out, Thorin’s palm settled against the small of his back, still under his shirt. Thorin leaned down and pressed a kiss to Bilbo’s mess of curls. _That’s interesting,_ Bilbo thought, _He must really be getting into character._ Bilbo figured now was as good a time as any and pretended to slowly wake up; he took the opportunity to first burrow closer into Thorin’s broad chest. He was so warm with a layer of softness covering an obvious mass of muscle. He felt like a human radiator. Bilbo blinked up at Thorin from under a few stray curls. Thorin smiled down at Bilbo. His eyelids were heavy and his smile relaxed. This was the most relaxed Bilbo had seen him yet.

 

“goodmornin’” Bilbo murmured sleepily.

 

“Good morning to you too, sleepyhead” Thorin said, eyes crinkling at the corners as he suppressed his mirth. His thumb began to rub soothingly back and forth over the back of Bilbo’s hip. Bilbo’s heartbeat picked up as Thorin’s touch left sparks of heat in its path. They were barely inches apart, both caught in a quiet trance. Bilbo tilted his chin up fractionally, glancing at Thorin’s lips. Thorin’s eyes edged shut as he leaned down. Bilbo’s eyes slipped shut and his breathing picked up in expectation.

 

The first brush of Thorin’s lips was unexpectedly rough. His beard was bristly against Bilbo’s skin, but underneath his lips were soft and dry. Bilbo felt his heart surge like plummeting from the top of a rollercoaster. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, but his nose jammed awkwardly against the rim of Thorin’s glasses. Eyes still shut, they both chuckled and Thorin took off his glasses. Trying to set them on the table, Thorin was practically on top of Bilbo. Using this to his advantage, Thorin tilted Bilbo’s head up for a better angle. Bilbo hummed his appreciation, Thorin’s arms bracketing his face. As Bilbo was about to start exploring the skin revealed by Thorin’s disheveled shirt, something heavy and furry squeezed between then, headbutting Bilbo’s face. They both separated, looking dazed. Took blinked at Bilbo, unimpressed.

 

Thorin cleared his throat, “Sorry, I just, uh, thought that you might want to start practicing. You know, for the whole fake-boyfriend thing.” He said, not meeting Bilbo’s eyes.

“Right,” Bilbo said, trying to calm his breathing, “yeah. I was following your lead. Um, yeah I figured that’s what was happening.” Bilbo said, heart dropping.

 

Thorin pushed himself back to sitting on his heels, legs still bracketing Bilbo’s hips. Bilbo was lost in thought.

 

“You know, we don’t have to stop. I mean, I thought that was going pretty well...for practice I mean, of course.” Thorin said.

 

Bilbo looked up at him, trying to figure out if he was serious. He liked what he saw. “yeah, alright. Let’s move to my room though so I can keep a certain pesky cat out of the way,” Bilbo said pointedly looking at Took who didn’t look the least bit remorseful.

 

“Can I try something? It may not come up, but it’s always looked fun.” Thorin asked.

 

Bilbo couldn’t say no to those puppy eyes, so he nodded. Thorin braced one leg on the ground then somehow scooped Bilbo off the couch. Bilbo wrapped his legs around Thorin’s waist, a surprised laugh escaping past his lips. As he lifted both of them to a standing position, Thorin swooped in to plant a kiss on Bilbo’s still-smiling mouth. Bilbo’s hands rested on Thorin’s shoulders and he could feel his solid muscles rippling under his touch. As they moved towards Bilbo’s room, they kept kissing. Bilbo snaked a hand to the back of Thorin’s neck into the mass of black hair at the nape of Thorin’s neck.

 

When they got past Bilbo’s door, Thorin kicked the door shut as gently as possible.

 

 _Finally_ , Bilbo thought as Thorin set him on the bed.


End file.
